There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
