so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
