You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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