Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's get the cat blown out
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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