yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
