??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
