We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
