She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
