Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
