Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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