Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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