Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
