he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
