wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
