So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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