forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
