He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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