can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize