Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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