he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
