she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
