But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize