I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
