the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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