how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
