Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
