Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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