Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
