someone get that fucking seahorse.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pooping to opera.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
