you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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