just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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