Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
