They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
