I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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