He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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