dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
