pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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