normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
