why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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