maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
