I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Still dying that you shit outside
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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