Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
