Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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