soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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