All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
