My underwear smells like fireworks.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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