You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
