im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
