i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Green mimosas i think yes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
