My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
