see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
