So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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