I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
