She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
