how do flat chested girls get laid?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
