My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Someone shattered a urinal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize