Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize