I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
