I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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