I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize