How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and she was petting her beer can
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
