i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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