so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm just crazy horny about you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
