i was born a porn star she said
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
