party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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