come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
